| Teh crampz0r |
[Nov. 14th, 2005|09:52 am] |
| [ | I am soooo |
| |  sore | ] |
| [ | I'm jamming to |
| | My Dying Bride - Your River | ] |
Cramps are teh sux. I'm hungry. Pot is making my cramps worse. I need to eat. I took aspirin.. Any minute now, they'll be gone.
STILL have not talked to Doh. I neeeeed to do that. He neeeeeds to call me or something, lol. Kurt, I hope you're prepared to pick me up. :(
Me and Christina got blitzed yesterday. I was smoking resin and pot all day long. I love resin, I don't care. I like searching for it, too. *Pirate* Christina's pipes were fucking caked beyond belief. I've got enough resin to smoke on for days. Or maybe just today. We're planning on cleaning out the pipes with alcohol really good so I can travel with one legally. ^_^ She's giving me one of hers. Either the littler one or the one with the frog on it. If she gives me the frog, she says she might charge $5 on it because it was more expensive than the other one.
My nipple rings still hurt. I've been soaking them like a mofo. I'm about to soak them again after I eat, probably. They're getting better, though. If I brush up against them, fucking ouch. But they don't hurt just for no reason like yesterday, so progress. They should be fine as long as I continue to clean them like I have been.
Ok, I'm out this piece.
<3 |
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| :( I'm so sad! |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|01:50 pm] |
| [ | I am soooo |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | I'm jamming to |
| | My Dying Bride - Sear Me MCMXCIII | ] |
Everything's just piling up ontop of the other today and I almost can't deal with it. I haven't talked to Doh in days, my piercings are so sore that I can barely move. I've been soaking them & cleaning them & everything else and they still just fucking hurt. I just want to fucking take them out but I can't do it myself. I don't want to go back up to the tattoo shop.. I didn't even want them pierced in the first place, but they were free. I did them for big brother Gunther's portfolio. I didn't know they'd be such a pain my ASS but I FIGURED THEY WOULD BE THATS WHY I NEVER FUCKING EVER THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING THEM DONE BEFORE. What the fuck, why can't I say NO to stupid bullshit like that. I have piercings that I like just fine, I don't need stupid nipple rings. Motherfucker. :(
I got this medication prescribed to me the other day and my grandma's all nosing in my business and is all pissed off because I told her it was none of hers WHAT reason I was taking medication for. That's between my mother, my doctor and I and I don't give a fuck but I don't have to goddamn fill her in on every little aspect of my entire fucking existence. I wish I could just fall asleep and wake up tomorrow in Doh's bed. >.>
I'm tired of everybody. This is my rant. |
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| What the... |
[Nov. 13th, 2005|12:26 pm] |
| [ | I am soooo |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | I'm jamming to |
| | Wolfsheim - Heroin, She Said | ] |
Okay, so it was last Wednesday when I last spoke with Doh, I believe. Now I don't know where he has been or what he's been doing, besides working, but for some reason I get the feeling that he doesn't want me to come anymore. I know that sometimes he can't get online, but thats not the feeling I'm getting. I'm just getting the feeling that he does not want me there anymore. And it's about to really upset me. I haven't looked forward to something in a long time now and I was really looking forward to being there with him. I miss him, I want to talk to him. I went through some bullshit with his friends just to prove how much I liked him and why would they do that if it wasn't even going to work out. I just have a bad feeling about what's going on, like everybody's dodging me. But maybe I'm just REALLY nervous and REALLY paranoid. Because Doh really does like me a lot, I think. Either that or he's world's best actor. I hope I'm just being a silly paranoid crazy person. I could deal with that better. I really really really really dig him. :(
I already bought my plane ticket. I will leave Wednesday at 6:30am. If I don't talk to him... I guess I will just call Kurt and see if he will pick me up, he said he should be able to I think. I'll hang out with Kurt, then, until we find Doh and beat him with rocks. |
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| My last pitch to Mike |
[Oct. 24th, 2005|08:31 am] |
| [ | I am soooo |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | I'm jamming to |
| | Audioslave | ] |
Okay, that was a good enough subject to get this ball up and rolling.
There are quite a few things that I feel that I need to express to you before everything is said and done and I know that I won't be able to tell you these things in person. And I'm really glad that you don't have a picture of yourself up because that would make it all the more hard.
First things first. The way you think and the way your mind works is completely and utterly inconceivable to me. I have tried to understand how you work and I just don't get it. All I can muster up is that you have severe emotional problems that entirely surpass mine. And you should really work on that. I seriously don't know what your childhood trauma is, but get over it.
You are weird. You make me feel so great and then you just drop huge bombs on me at any random moment when I'm least expecting them and that's fucked up. If I could have you the way you were when we first met, or when we first moved in together, I would want you forever. And it would be great. But no. You want to dick around.
What you should work on is GROWING UP. You seriously have the mentality of a 16 or 17 year old. And my naive fantasies of what I want you to be are failing because of that. Because you refuse to grow up. Accept any responsibility. When you get yourself into a RELATIONSHIP with somebody, it isn't a 3 week, 4 week fling. You need some schooling. If you know that you don't plan on making it work, then don't even fucking bother involving me.
I can't see you anymore. I can't talk to you anymore. If you feel the need to reply to this, feel free. I will read it. But I won't reply. I can't have anything to do with you anymore.
Because when you finally wake the fuck up and realize that I'm the best thing that could have EVER happened to you, and you're still alone and pathetic and shallow - I will be with somebody who actually wants to be with me back and wants to make me happy just as much as I want to make them happy. And you'll kick yourself for the rest of your life.
Take a good look at our picture. At my pictures. At my face. At my frame. I am a goddess... And you are dirt.
But regardless, I will always love a part of you.
The part of you that I -wouldn't- give up everything I owned to change about you.
Take care of yourself. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|08:26 pm] |
I need girlfriends. =( I need a girl's advice and girl's opinions. Most all of my previous friends have been guys and here I am without any. For some reason, a guy can't handle just being friends with a pretty girl. They want to have their cake and eat it, too. Well, that's just fine. But I won't be the cake they're eating. I always felt I had more in common with guys for some reason. Maybe musically, that's true. But the guys I've been friends with have one common goal: Getting pussy. I'm not a big fan of the stuff, so I'm not jumping over myself to get any. But when I'm hanging with a group of friends I like to get the same respect as everyone else and often times, I didn't. They would either hold me in higher regards because I was a girl, or feel it more necessary to draw a different kind of attention to me since I wasn't on their "level". What a load of donkey, I'm telling you. Girls, I cannot express how important it is that we stick together! I mean it. You wanna take the side of guys, that's fine. But remember one thing. You may be on their side, but they are NOT on yours. They're on the side that's going to get them laid so they can tell their other GUY friends about it. I've lost touch with my girlies, but hope is not lost. I will become a part of the ovaries team once again and we will prevail! ALMIGHTY UTERUS!
**** Written quite a few months ago on my old journal, but I felt it needed repeating here**** |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|05:50 am] |
[Alex]: oh, Im gonna see Macy Gray in concert in December
zerosignificance: ..why?
zerosignificance: will 50 cent be there?
[Alex]: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no
[Alex]: but shes opening for David Bowie, which is why
zerosignificance: well, hell..i'd go if 50 cent was gonna be there
[Alex]: uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuuuuuuuum
zerosignificance: he's got the magic stick
[Alex]: ..up his ass
zerosignificance: awww, come on
[Alex]: ummmm.....stand over there |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|05:50 am] |
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[Alex]: I have paki neighbours who cook all kinds of camel balls and makes it smell like shit around here. Im gonna have to get my ass up and throw my mom outside to tell them not to cook such shit |
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| Introduction: |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|05:41 am] |
| [ | I am soooo |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | I'm jamming to |
| | Bleed The Freak by Alice in Chains | ] |
This is just a quick entry to get the party going here...
I've got a few things that I'm moving here from my old journal that I don't want to lose. And I'm going to go to do that
...
I can't get my BACKGROUND to work! =( |
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glassxsandwich's journal